Takara Masterpiece Beast Wars Blackarachnia (Black Widow)

        So.  I need to stop assuming that any particular character is actually going to be impossible for Takara to make into a Masterpiece figure.  For years people have been trying to design a relatively cartoon-accurate version of Beast Wars Blackarachnia (Black Widow in Japan, because it be like that), and given the body shape, it was difficult.  Many things broke.  It was simple assumed that an official updated version wouldn't happen.
        WELP.  This is the third "impossible" Masterpiece figure I've picked up.  And damn, I am... impressed.  It ain't all roses, but let's get to the box.

        Can you hear the guitar solo?  You can, can't you?

        And, uh... a bunch of words I can't read, but the images and simple descriptions are all I really need to know.

        There she is!  While there were no twist ties to speak of, the bane of my American Transformer existence, there was... a lot more tape than I expected.  Easily cut through, however.
        But now... begins one of my first little gripes.  Do I mind that a couple of the spider legs popped off in shipping?  Of course not; these figures are designed to pop apart if the stress on some parts gets too high, and you just pop them back into the socket joint.  But that was kind of the problem... the legs detached during shipping because they were already loose.  This isn't a big deal, as I have certainly tightened these joints before, but it's not the last joint problem this figure may have,

        At long last: all the stuff!  And that big damn spider web, which... I cannot for the life of me get attached to her in spider form, but then I also didn't try long because why bother, she's not getting displayed on a stand anyway.  Still, neat.  Along with the figure itself are two additional faces, two anchors (one with a cable! to hang from! in theory), and the visor with an extra cable.  For reasons.  Hey it's neat, I'll take it.

        In incredibly difficult to photograph things, all of her spider eyes have pupils.  Show-accurate, shall we say.  She also does have short fangs, even if I'm pretty sure I failed to capture them ever single time.  Ah well.

        Her beast mode is... a true delight.  Absolutely beautiful, and when the ball joints do actually properly stay in place, they're surprisingly sturdy.  Altogether her legs can lift and support her body, but it looks a bit weird, so I just let them hang out and look menacing.  And shiny.  Because this figure is shiny and sparkly and I love it.

        Spider butt.  Of course that's always going to be awkward given how joints work and how the legs need to be stored, but for what it is, it certainly works.

        But let's investigate this spider butt for a moment, shall we?  Because I was staring at the very tiny illustrated instructions for quite a while, then staring at the figure.  I believe I muttered a quiet, "No way."

        There is a panel that flips up, and then...

        You pull her gun out of her ass.  And I laughed.  A lot.  At that and the view afterward.
        Yes, technically this is true to the original figure.  There were... a lot of ass guns and stomach guns in Beast Wars.  We don't question these things.  It was Beast Wars.

        But finally getting her fully transformed?  Oh.  Oh, yes.  That is her.  That is my "damaged just enough to be interesting" self-defined bad girl.
        (And if you don't know why the phrase "damaged just enough to be interesting" is one of the best ever, then we can't be friends.)
        Some details!  I was surprised to see the texture paint on her legs.  But here we have another gripe about this particular figure: you have to bend her feet back from resting against the front of her calf.  They did not.  The joints were so tight that I was convinced they'd accidentally been glued or melted together until I just happened to finally work one free, then spent another few minutes carefully working the other one into moving.  Tight joints are one thing, but that is... not a good thing.  The feet could have easily been broken.
        Moving on to the faces, there's the neutral face on the left, and the smirky face on the right.  It's so much more obvious in person, as trying to capture the lighting on every angle is incredibly difficult when they are also shiny faces.  (She comes with the smirking face on.  I love this.)

        So about that third face.  And the ass gun!
        I didn't show off nearly enough of her movement range with these pictures, but she has a hell of a lot of motion available.  Even in her waist, which I didn't expect.

        This is probably the better picture for noting small details.  Robot bits, organic-ish bits, shine, attitude.  ...Robot boobs.  Roboobs?

        Of course I didn't forget the ass shot.  This is where the "backpack" winds up, flush against her back.

        Dramatically relaxing and theatrically enjoying life.

        ...Well, there could be endless jokes about virtual reality relaxing, but the visor itself was an unexpected touch.  Basically just there for neatness reasons, and for more shiny.
        So.  Do I love this figure?  Yes.  Am I glad I snagged her when I could?  Absolutely.  But I do know this is one of the earlier projects of a new factory, and... I think it shows in the joint construction.  The execution of some parts fitting together is also in question, though I know just about anything is better than the worst parts of Beast Wars.  There are tabs that don't hold and there are tabs that, despite my best efforts, fit too tightly to work consistently.  I have transformed her back into a spider and had to squeeze her thorax and abdomen together, hard, and only then does everything click into place dramatically all at once... but can easily click out of place when replacing the "ass gun panel" because those tabs are also too tight.  There's a lot of trial and error and editing all happening at once which makes the figure seem messy even if I really don't believe it is.  I do understand some complaints I've heard, particularly for a slightly higher-end Masterpiece figure (they get a lot more expensive, I am aware).  But do I love what was pulled off and are the fixes easy enough?  Yes.  I don't regret the purchase in the least.

        I am screwed if a Silverbolt gets considered.